I'm all about looking at the other side, or rather another side...
Last week I talked about resolve and not quitting on my blog, but equally important is knowing when to quit...
I'm pushy, a pusher, and sometimes I can be a downright pain in the ass with it. In some ways this tenacity that I get from my Cancer Sun (with a little help from my Leo Mercury to fuel that "I'm right" complex) is what helps me make things happen. Holding onto this energy of "this is right" and "it will get done" is good.
But when that energy turns into an Ego fest, when the Universe is telling me to back off and try a gentler approach, or when I need to redirect my energy not so much.
Enter the breaking of the table.
I'd been sitting here, minding my business, writing up my scholarship post for Flourish & Thrive and working on meeting the other requirements (liking & following on social media, then posting to my blog). It was such a struggle. Literally no pages would load, and I even had to get my colleague to log in for me to do something on another site. It was maddening and nerve wracking, especially to someone with a large impatient streak.
I say to my business partner over Skype, "I'll try one more time then I'll take a break to do something else, after all if its not working its a sign I should do something else and not get frustrated about it."
Did I listen? Not soon enough apparently. For not but a few minutes later I went to adjust my table (a leg was leaning slightly) and . . .
All of the sudden tipping quickly backwards three of the four legs snapped. Frantic and freaked out I grab my table to stabilize it hurriedly and with only one hand trying to turn off my desk top, unplug my printer and carefully remove things from it. I was finally able to get my roommates to hear me and give me a hand but I assure you I was rather shaken from the incident.
What's really important is that it leaves me quite contemplative now that I've calmed down and righted myself (and of course found that there was no damage to my computer). I see that I was resisting a message being given to me. I was presuming and insisting that what I wanted to be doing was what I should be doing and refusing to see any other way. I was clearly being given a sign to do something else and I ignored it.
This isn't the first time I've had it happen to me. In my art I've pushed before, resulting in large amounts of frustration, and even wasted time. I've had to scrap things, go back and undo things, and mostly because I wanted to push, to rush, to make it happen faster and perfectly. In my personal life I've come off as too strong, yielding to my deeply felt emotions and struggled to adapt when change was called for. Its left me heartbroken, angry, and utterly dejected before.
So this all leaves me with a lot to think about, and especially as I'm going through my Saturn Return which is a time of major growth and focuses on shedding what hasn't worked and reforming oneself into an older & wiser you.
If you're like me try some of these things that I've worked with that remind me to not push.
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